Out of compulsion, to manipulate you, to manipulate the
situation, to salvage the relationship, to willingly destroy the
friendship, to be bitchy, to infuse some gossip and fun into an
otherwise mundane life.
No matter the reason, women lie.
As do men, but for the purpose of this article we’ll just stick to
talking about the fairer sex. And no, no lies will be mentioned here.
Here are five lies that all women tell and very few own up to:
1. "I am not mad at you."
Lie. Lie. Lie. The moment she utters these words, the red flag, heck
ALL the red flags you have, must go up. A woman only ever says this when
she is fuming with wrath; when she is so angry with you that she wants
to burn your sad soul and kick you right into hell. You’d be safe if she
is mad at you than when she is not. So, if she isn’t mad at you, please
do the needful and make sure she is absolutely mad at you.
2. "You were great!"
If you *actually* were great, she wouldn’t necessarily say it. Instead she’d show you
grateful she is.
So if she tells you how great you were and raves and rants about it,
chances are you were only but mediocre and she is just being nice.
3. "Be honest, I can take it."
This particularly statement is made after she asks you *that* question. The question being: Do I look fat in this?
It’s a trap. A big huge cage from which there is no escape. Any
answer or no answer, you’re destined to die out of misery in that cage.
The truth is she cannot take your honesty and if you lie blatantly,
she’ll catch you at it. So the trick here is to be moderate in your
response; not too flowery, not too mean. Walk the tight-rope well and
you might just manage to escape from the cage. PS: No living man has yet
managed this feat.
4. "I’m not jealous."
In reality, she is jealous almost all the time. Jealous when you look
at that girl walking by, jealous when you talk too much to your friend
who is a girl. In all honesty, playful jealousy is fun, necessary even
to keep the relationship going. So when she says she is not jealous,
smile and kiss her cheek. Forget being jealous, she will just blush.
5. "I never think of my ex."
Everyone thinks of their ex.
At some point or the other, we are driven back to times gone by because
of a tune or a place or situation or a conversation. It’s okay if she
thinks about her ex once in a while, because it is only normal to do so.
And if she confesses to *never* thinking of her ex, I’d say something
is wrong with her and that you need to assess what that is.
(ccto)